This year has been a hard one at Back on Track, as we’ve lost more than one family member to death, whether sudden or through protracted illness. My family has been blessed, but watching my friends cope with the awful realities of death and dying has reminded me just how important it is for each of us to do everything we can to help those we love in the event something happens to us.

We have talked before about The Five Wishes document; an advanced directive which allows you to select someone to speak for you should you be unable. This is a subject which bears periodic repeating.

Much more involved than the more familiar advanced directive you complete when hospitalized, Five Wishes allows you to clearly dictate how you want to be treated if you should be unable to speak for yourself. It takes into consideration not only purely medical concerns, but also your deeply personal, emotional and religious wishes. In California, Five Wishes is a legally binding document even without visiting the notary.

First, you select the person you want to make decisions for you should you not be able to make them yourself, your Health Agent. Although we might automatically consider this person to be our spouse or one of our children, consider carefully your choices here. The question no one wants to utter is this: should it become necessary to make the decision to let me die, who will be willing to make that decision for me?

Consider carefully before choosing your Health Agent. Five Wishes help you think through the choice by outlining a number of common questions: Will this person be allowed to take you out of state to secure needed health care for you, make the decision to commit you to long-term care, decide whether your organs are made available or not? By checking various boxes, you entrust or deny your Health Agent these duties. As with each area covered, there is added space for you to include your specific directions.

A living will is created by the second wish which allows you to specify what kind of medical treatment you want or don’t want. Under what circumstances do you want life support and when would you want that life support stopped?  I am a little too young to just flatly deny life support, but if I have been on life support for two weeks and there has been no improvement, shut it off and let me go.

What if there are other injuries at the same time? Would the possibility of you surviving, but being blind affect your decision to have or deny life support? What about partial paralysis? Five Wishes gently guides you through each of these considerations.

The next two wishes allow you to dictate how you would like to be treated. Many of the choices elected here by checking boxes are “no-brainers”. Of course you want to be kept clean and comfortable. But do you want to be taken home at all cost?  Or do you want to be quietly looked after in a professional setting? Do you want friends to visit you? Or do you want them not to see you at this most private time in this condition? Do you want your church to send visitors, to pray over you, read your favorite poetry?

The last wish asks you how you would like to be remembered. Do you have last words you would like to share with someone special? Do you want a wake, a quiet graveside service, or to be cremated and scattered by the one person who loves you most? What music will be played? What selections read?

Once you have completed your Five Wishes document, you must take the next step and be sure to discuss your wishes openly and honestly with your Health Agent(s) and your primary care doctor giving them each a copy. There is a wallet card included in the document which informs others of your choice of Health Agent.

The time to complete the Five Wishes document is now when you are well. You will have time to talk honestly with those closest to you and do your best to cover all the questions you think might arise. Without an advance directive, you will be left with no control over these incredibly important decisions. You may think these decisions would be obvious, but they are not. The stress that surrounds a grave illness or accident can wash away the memory of what you might have said at one time or another in casual conversation.

Take the time now to write down your wishes. Do it for yourself, to be sure, but do it for those who love you. You may be able to obtain a copy of the Five Wishes document at your church or at your physician’s office. We try to keep them on hand at Back on Track. You can also call 1-888-5-WISHES (1-888-594-7437).

ABOUT THE WRITER:
Jackie Randa is a physical therapist who owns Back on Track in Barstow. She can be contacted at jranda@aol.com