‘The cancer lady’

Editor’s note: This is the final story in a series profiling local cancer survivors, leading up to the Relay for Life at Barstow High School on May 17 and 18. The Relay raises money for the American Cancer Society. If you or someone you know is struggling with cancer, the American Cancer Society can help at 1-800-ACS-2345.

BARSTOW — Her battle with cancer was short.

Renita Wickes remembers telling doctors in Barstow that something didn’t feel right, that something was wrong. After a trip to Loma Linda, they found out why — a growth on her ovary. Doctors removed the ovary, and three months of chemotherapy later, she won. Game. Set. And Match. Almost.

Years later, Wickes is still fighting as if she had the disease.

Some call her “the cancer lady.” Wickes almost always wears some shade of purple, the survivor’s color. She encourages cancer prevention to her colleagues at work at Fort Irwin and appears before countless organizations and businesses asking for donations and support. During this time of year, it is nearly impossible to hold a conversation with her without hearing three words, “Relay for Life.”

Wickes’ relationship with the American Cancer Society dates back long before she became chair of nearly every local committee, long before her house and garage became filled with Relay for Life supplies, and long before she became a legislative ambassador making trips to the capitol on behalf of cancer research. During the doldrums of her struggle in 1997, Wickes found solace in an American Cancer Society member on the other end of the phone.

“Someone gave me the 1-800 number, and I called them, and the counselors would stay on the phone for hours,” she said.

Some call her “the cancer lady,” brimming with knowledge about the disease and support for those who fight it, but there was a time when she did not know where to turn. On the phone, Wickes learned about her diagnosis, the treatments, the medications. She learned why she was depressed all the time, a side effect of the drugs. She cried; she laughed; she found a family.

And she needed one. Following her diagnosis, her marriage fell apart, leaving her in Barstow to raise two young daughters. With most of her family living on the East Coast, her daughters became her caregivers.

“And that was rough,” she said. “I felt like I was taking away their childhood.”

The family of cancer survivors in Barstow and across the country became hers and stepped in to help. When her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer a year later, the those who helped Wickes rallied around her. And when her mother lost her battle in 2002, Wickes decided it was time to get involved with the cancer society.

“The first year, I was on every committee they had,” she said.

She scaled back a bit, she said, but still remains at the forefront of some of the American Cancer Society’s most important causes. Wickes and another local cancer survivor, JoAnne Cousino, travel to Sacramento periodically to lobby for cancer-related causes. They speak with state Senators and Assembly members, such as 13-year cancer survivor and Assemblyman Bill Maze, who represents Barstow, about what areas need support.

“Sometimes we get kind of pushy with them,” Wickes admitted. “They don’t always vote the way we want them to.”

She also co-chaired this year’s Relay for Life, a monstrous fund raiser and cancer awareness tool used across the nation. Through the Relay, Wickes has stayed connected with the survivor community who shared so much with her during her fight. She honors other survivors throughout the year and will join them as they make the opening lap of the relay early on Saturday morning. So yes, some call her “the cancer lady.”

And after all that the American Cancer Society has shared with Wickes, she wanted to share a very special moment in her life with them. A few years ago, when Wickes and her husband Ray were married, Wickes tried to convince him to hold the ceremony during the Relay. It did not work — they were married before the Relay that year — but Wickes still bugs him about it.

After all, the Relay is part of her family.

If you go:

There’s plenty to do and see even if you aren’t walking in this year’s Relay for Life.

Opening ceremonies and the survivor lap starts at 9 a.m. at Langworthy Field, Barstow High School, 430 South First Street.

For the rest of the day, teams will be making laps while local organizations, bands and DJs provide entertainment. At 9 p.m., the emotional Luminary Ceremony begins in memory of those lost to cancer. Things wrap up at 9 a.m. on Sunday morning.

Contact the writer:
(760) 256-4121 or aaron_aupperlee@link.freedom.com